Nerves may fray before the big day, but one bride is getting cold feet about having her brother’s domineering fiancée serve as a bridesmaid in her “budget” wedding.
Reddit user 994gnm is getting married in September, and asked the internet for advice in a now-viral post published Wednesday. Sharing her story in the social forum’s ever-popular Wedding Shaming group, the bride-to-be explained why her future sister-in-law is driving her crazy.
“My brother’s fiancé and my brother have been dating for seven years. When things started to get serious between me and my fiancé she would make comments about how we were probably going to get engaged before them,” the Redditor began. “She’s a bit of the stereotypical Long Island Princess/Only child.”
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“When we did get engaged in January 2020 she asked when we were planning the wedding, which we decided would be September 2021. She responded that’s when she wanted to get married, despite not even being engaged yet at that point.”
Separating herself from the “typical bride” that gets defensive about plans, the engaged woman said she wouldn’t have minded if there ended up being two September wedding in the family this year.
“My wedding day will be mine and it will be great,” 994gnm said. “It’s just a wedding day not a month or year that is dedicated and reserved for me.”
Her brother and his then-girlfriend ultimately got engaged in September 2020 – “much later” than the future bridezilla had been planning, the Redditor alleged. However, she claims her her future SIL is getting obnoxiously competitive about the nuptials, even though her September 2022 nuptials are a long way away.
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“Since they have been engaged she has been [expletive] about all the decisions I have made and throwing in all her opinions,” the user said, bemoaning the woman’s unsought opinions on wedding rings, bridal gowns and bridesmaid dresses for the September 2020 affair.
Pushing further, 994gnm broke down when her brother’s fiancée and the woman’s mother started bashing some potential vendors, even though her brother’s future mother-in-law is not invited to 994gnm’s upcoming wedding.
“That was my breaking point,” she confessed. “I nicely told her that it’s been stressful enough trying to manage the expectations of the bridal party let alone anyone else’s mother… I had to tell her that we have two different visions for our weddings and two different budgets.”
“I can’t afford to have the Pinterest perfect wedding and some sacrifices will need to be made and that’s okay because that day is going to be great because it’s a celebration of me and my fiancé and our love.”
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Pointing to the bridesmaid’s “basically unlimited budget” for her own wedding, the Redditor said the couple is going all out with “live band, raw bar, sushi bar, etc.”
“I told her it’s not fair to hold the vendors within my budget to the same standards of her wedding budget. She has read the messages and not responded,” she wrote. “I’m just kind of over it and wish I would have privately planned the wedding without discussing anything with her.”
Commenters rose to cheer up – and cheer on – the September 2020 bride, in a post that quickly went viral with nearly 3,000 upvotes.
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“Stop sharing with her,” one commenter advised. “If she wants to participate as a bridesmaid, great. If she wants to use your wedding to comparison shop and plan hers, then tell her she doesn’t need to be privy to that info.”
“If you decide to keep her in your bridal party (which I’m sure is the least dramatic option) you have a lot of patience indeed!” another said. “It’s rough when someone steamrolls your desires and tries to push you outside your own tastes, desires, and budget.”
“Just stand firm, you can survive!” they encouraged. “Hang in there, in a few months you’ll be happily married!”
“I already feel so sorry for HER bridesmaids,” one joked. “Stay strong!”